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RE:Getting Spouces on Board
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  1. #1
    bigmikey
    Guest

    RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    Trying to explain your own thoughts, fears and concerns about the possibility of a security that would cause you and your family to defend or protect itself is never an easy conversation to have with anyone not having your own beliefs. However, a calm, prepared and SIMPLE approach is always the best first step. Please understand that I, nor anyone else can make the perfect approach for every spouse nor can I be there when this conversation occurs. You know your spouse the best and what works and what doesn't. I say this to add an additional thought. As we all have been told at some point, "Timing is everything!!" This applies here as well. Why? Well, if your spouse just walks in from a tuff day at work and you start chewing his/her ear off about how the world is going to come to an end and that you just spent a couple of thousand dollars on supplies for the safe room, she might not be as appreciative as you would hope. However, if you comment on a news story about something happening somewhere else and should ask your spouse something like " what would you do in that situation?" And start a meaningful conversation about it, your chances to begin the process of getting your spouse on board starts positively and productively.
    I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and ideas on this topic.
    Thanks,
    BigMikey

  2. #2
    ShawnM50
    Guest

    Re: RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    First and foremost, I'll "warn" everyone, NEVER hold out on your spouse!!!
    If you can't trust them....then you shouldn't be together!!

    My wife, didn't want to "hear about it", so I just started buying a little at a time, never spending
    more than we could afford. I always made sure all the bills were paid first!

    Then as family members or friends ran into tough situations, big bills, loss of income, etc
    I'd suggest, we have "whatever item" that we could give them. This would feed them, keep them warm,
    they'd be able to filter their drinking water, etc.

    As she grew to see what "OUR" capabilities actually were, she started talking about it as US, not YOU.

    Some people can see what is happening, but want to go into denial, as thinking about the worst case
    senario can be scary, but over time, they tend to come around too.

    Shawn M.

  3. #3
    barrypina
    Guest

    Re: RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    I have a kinda funny experience in regards to getting spouses on board. About a year ago my wife was against having any firearms in the house, locked, loaded or otherwise. One day some gang members? kids? sprayed graffiti our driveway and all of a sudden I had full permission to have all the guns and gear necessary to protect our family. (Graffiti services available in your area soon).

  4. #4
    Lam0nt
    Guest

    Re: RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    The comment regarding graffiti is a perfect depiction of what causes people to get on board with self-defense, not to mention preparedness. These types of catalysts are the precise reason spouses, (primarily women but sometimes men) are awakened to the possibility that the candy coating exterior of their day to day lives does, in fact, have a sinister underbelly that, when exposed, can change a persons complete frame of reference. Spouses need to be made aware of this sinister side if they are ever to be "on board".
    My wife's "A-HA" moment was when a neighbor of her mother had her front door kicked down in the middle of the day. The criminals began to ransack the house, ripping flat screen televisions off of the wall and destroying the home furnishings... all while she was in the shower. The woman climbed out of the bathroom window with only a towel to cover her and ran 4 houses down before finding someone home to call the police. Subsequently, the police told her that it was probably best that she fled when she did; judging the ferocity of the invasion, she almost assuredly would have been harmed if she had stayed. Once my wife heard this account, the floodgates were deemed open and I essentially had carte blanche to do "whatever necessary" to keep our family safe.

  5. #5
    suzcob
    Guest

    Re: RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    My husband is all for me getting ready, but I have to get everything ready for him too. This is very difficult as a woman, and a small one at that! So many terms and gadgets! It is hard with very little experience.

  6. #6
    Old Bear
    Guest

    Re: RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    Quote Originally Posted by suzcob
    My husband is all for me getting ready, but I have to get everything ready for him too. This is very difficult as a woman, and a small one at that! So many terms and gadgets! It is hard with very little experience.
    If your husband is looking for you to "get him ready" then he isn't! While it can be handy having one person primarily responsible for insuring everything is as ready as can be, everyone MUST be involved. His share of gear does him no good if he doesn't know where it is, what it is, or how to use it. It can even be dangerous, as if you are injured how can he care for you if he hasn't been paying attention? Of course, you can't make him do so, but don't fool yourself into thinking "we" are prepared if it is really only "you."

    This is the place to ask about all those terms and gadgets! A lot of terminology is for that "gee-wizz" factor to separate you from your cash, so don't be fooled. Same with the gadgets. Ask before you buy, we are here to help each other!

  7. #7
    member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Gloucester, Va
    Posts
    7

    Re: RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    My situation is a bit unusual. My wife is panic riddled. Normally (ie "candy coated exterior" as another poster wrote) she is fine but if and when I try to start asking her about her feelings and thoughts on survival issues or equipment, she starts to get panicky. She'll say "I'm starting to get a panic attack thinking about this and she's being honest. It also will disturb her sleep and she works swing shift so I have to be careful. I think mine might be a legitimate example of having to keep things and plans under wraps and to myself to keep her composed. I am making plans that include working around this problem. If an actual event occurs I believe she will adapt. Any thoughts or suggestions out there from some who have dealt with going it alone. It's just my wife and I. Kids are moved on.
    Thanks
    Last edited by bullitt5532; 02-20-2011 at 07:12 PM. Reason: spelling & privacy

  8. #8
    Tim Fla
    Guest
    My wife is understanding to a point, but she says that since she is a nurse she'll be called in to work anyway. Well trying to get her to keep a car bag loaded is a tough job but with the way she sees things going these days she is slowly coming around. She still giggles at me when I buy extra canned goods or staples like rice and cereals. I'm trying my darnedest to get her to try dried beans. I even got her to agree to buy a vacuum sealer and I'm almost there with a dehydrator. She's not even griping about my ammo. THAT concerns me. Perhaps she agrees with me more than she wants to let on.
    Tim

  9. #9
    member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Gloucester, Va
    Posts
    7
    Just an update. My wife has purchased a gun but has not taken to the thought of using it by carry or practice. We are about to join a shooting range soon and we'll see how much interest continues after shooting her Ruger LCR for a day.
    Last edited by bullitt5532; 02-20-2011 at 07:13 PM. Reason: spelling

  10. #10
    El Bajista
    Guest

    Baffled

    My wife is quite an enigma. A few years ago, she was coming out of the store she used to work at, helping a customer load items into their vehicle. The customer's car was parked right in front of the shop, literally a few feet from the door. The store is on a major main street in our town & is a very busy business district of the town so it is heavily populated during mid-day (when this incident occurred). As she approached the vehicle, a Muslim man walked up to her & wrapped his arms completely around her and squeezed. She yelled and screamed and fought to get away and the man finally let her go, saying she was misunderstanding him & that he was only trying to hug her because that's what they do in his culture. When she finally told me about the situation (which took her a few hours to inform me of because she knew what I'd do [can you say "headhunting?"]), I couldn't help but remind her of all the self defense/awareness discussions I'd talked w/her about previously (sort of "I told you so!" without coming right out and saying that). She agreed w/me that people, in that setting, are not to be trusted & that the situation could have turned out MUCH worse - that she, in fact, was extremely lucky/blessed it turned out as well as it did. Unfortunately, since that incident, her awareness/alertness have considerably decreased and relaxed. To the point that she has come full circle into now telling me that I'm being overly paranoid, that I'm "too gloom & doom," that I pay too close attention to the news/current events & that I "need to be nicer to people." I reminded her of that day as well as many other incidences where people have preyed upon her trusting nature yet no amount of "reminding" seems to make a difference to her; unfortunately, I believe only another incident like what happened will bring her around again but who knows for how long. In the meantime, I keep stocking up supplies as well as obtaining other items for defense on mulitiple levels (not just firearms & ammo) - nothing that strains our budget, though. But all of that only seems to feed into her thought that I'm being paranoid, unreasonable, and wasting our finances. I point out current events as well as biblical teaching (we're both Christians) but nothing seems to make a lasting impact on her view of being prepared for the worst while hoping for the best. She only seems to focus on the latter at the expense of the former (i.e. - only hoping for the best while not even considering the worst could possibly happen). While I love my wife dearly and wholeheartedly believe our marriage will endure no matter what (given many situations/hardships we've endured throughout our marriage), I am also of the opinion that just because she chooses to be willfully ignorant and blasť doesn't mean that I should stop preparations for worst-case scenarios that would greatly affect our well-being should those situations occur. Ultimately, I believe that when all of the things I've stated will happen actually come to pass (and I thoroughly believe they are inevitably going to happen sooner rather than later), she will be on board with me. I only hope that she will be able to keep up at that point.
    Last edited by El Bajista; 09-24-2010 at 05:27 PM.

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