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RE:Getting Spouces on Board
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  1. #1
    bigmikey
    Guest

    RE:Getting Spouces on Board

    Trying to explain your own thoughts, fears and concerns about the possibility of a security that would cause you and your family to defend or protect itself is never an easy conversation to have with anyone not having your own beliefs. However, a calm, prepared and SIMPLE approach is always the best first step. Please understand that I, nor anyone else can make the perfect approach for every spouse nor can I be there when this conversation occurs. You know your spouse the best and what works and what doesn't. I say this to add an additional thought. As we all have been told at some point, "Timing is everything!!" This applies here as well. Why? Well, if your spouse just walks in from a tuff day at work and you start chewing his/her ear off about how the world is going to come to an end and that you just spent a couple of thousand dollars on supplies for the safe room, she might not be as appreciative as you would hope. However, if you comment on a news story about something happening somewhere else and should ask your spouse something like " what would you do in that situation?" And start a meaningful conversation about it, your chances to begin the process of getting your spouse on board starts positively and productively.
    I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and ideas on this topic.
    Thanks,
    BigMikey

  2. #2
    Tim Fla
    Guest
    My wife is understanding to a point, but she says that since she is a nurse she'll be called in to work anyway. Well trying to get her to keep a car bag loaded is a tough job but with the way she sees things going these days she is slowly coming around. She still giggles at me when I buy extra canned goods or staples like rice and cereals. I'm trying my darnedest to get her to try dried beans. I even got her to agree to buy a vacuum sealer and I'm almost there with a dehydrator. She's not even griping about my ammo. THAT concerns me. Perhaps she agrees with me more than she wants to let on.
    Tim

  3. #3
    member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Gloucester, Va
    Posts
    7
    Just an update. My wife has purchased a gun but has not taken to the thought of using it by carry or practice. We are about to join a shooting range soon and we'll see how much interest continues after shooting her Ruger LCR for a day.
    Last edited by bullitt5532; 02-20-2011 at 07:13 PM. Reason: spelling

  4. #4
    El Bajista
    Guest

    Baffled

    My wife is quite an enigma. A few years ago, she was coming out of the store she used to work at, helping a customer load items into their vehicle. The customer's car was parked right in front of the shop, literally a few feet from the door. The store is on a major main street in our town & is a very busy business district of the town so it is heavily populated during mid-day (when this incident occurred). As she approached the vehicle, a Muslim man walked up to her & wrapped his arms completely around her and squeezed. She yelled and screamed and fought to get away and the man finally let her go, saying she was misunderstanding him & that he was only trying to hug her because that's what they do in his culture. When she finally told me about the situation (which took her a few hours to inform me of because she knew what I'd do [can you say "headhunting?"]), I couldn't help but remind her of all the self defense/awareness discussions I'd talked w/her about previously (sort of "I told you so!" without coming right out and saying that). She agreed w/me that people, in that setting, are not to be trusted & that the situation could have turned out MUCH worse - that she, in fact, was extremely lucky/blessed it turned out as well as it did. Unfortunately, since that incident, her awareness/alertness have considerably decreased and relaxed. To the point that she has come full circle into now telling me that I'm being overly paranoid, that I'm "too gloom & doom," that I pay too close attention to the news/current events & that I "need to be nicer to people." I reminded her of that day as well as many other incidences where people have preyed upon her trusting nature yet no amount of "reminding" seems to make a difference to her; unfortunately, I believe only another incident like what happened will bring her around again but who knows for how long. In the meantime, I keep stocking up supplies as well as obtaining other items for defense on mulitiple levels (not just firearms & ammo) - nothing that strains our budget, though. But all of that only seems to feed into her thought that I'm being paranoid, unreasonable, and wasting our finances. I point out current events as well as biblical teaching (we're both Christians) but nothing seems to make a lasting impact on her view of being prepared for the worst while hoping for the best. She only seems to focus on the latter at the expense of the former (i.e. - only hoping for the best while not even considering the worst could possibly happen). While I love my wife dearly and wholeheartedly believe our marriage will endure no matter what (given many situations/hardships we've endured throughout our marriage), I am also of the opinion that just because she chooses to be willfully ignorant and blasé doesn't mean that I should stop preparations for worst-case scenarios that would greatly affect our well-being should those situations occur. Ultimately, I believe that when all of the things I've stated will happen actually come to pass (and I thoroughly believe they are inevitably going to happen sooner rather than later), she will be on board with me. I only hope that she will be able to keep up at that point.
    Last edited by El Bajista; 09-24-2010 at 05:27 PM.

  5. #5
    Unregistered
    Guest

    Bill S

    My wife doesn’t believe that there is any danger of supply disruption to the grocery stores. (the government will prevent this from occurring) So every once in a while a box of long term storage food arrives , and when she asks , I tell her that it was on sale and I won’t be buying any more. (until the next time) We now have a year supply of long term storage food. (it took four years to accumulate and an occasional magically appearing shelf) I bought her a backpack to carry in case of emergency. (three days food and water, first aid , clothes, etc) Each time that the electricity goes out I add $100 to her pack. (I tell her just in case the ATM isn’t working she may have to buy gas) I now have her interested in a weekend home away from the city. (so that she can have a larger garden and a place to target practice with her 22) I believe that the ends justify the means. (or vice versa) We’ve been getting prepared for the past five years without her worrying about the idea .

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    38
    [QUOTE=El Bajista;1663... Muslim man walked up to her & wrapped his arms completely around her and squeezed. She yelled and screamed and fought to get away and the man finally let her go, saying she was misunderstanding him & that he was only trying to hug her because that's what they do in his culture. .....[/QUOTE]

    Well, that's a big, fat lie, IF he was REALLY Muslim, from a "Muslim" culture. At least, for one who tries to follow the dictates of his religion. A practicing Muslim man does not touch women to whom he is not related-- many won't even shake hands with a woman. Grabbing somebody he didn't know like that is "haram" (not sure if that's spelled right...)-- taboo-- and considered extremely disrespectful, NOT friendly.

  7. #7
    Nothing like a natural disaster to get your spouse on board. My husband thinks I'm Debbie Downer. But, with all the hurricanes in 2004 we were without power for 17 days. We managed fine, even having to work 12 hour shifts as LEO's. With that test run and his capabilities I know we'll do fine. In the meantime I don't discuss it with him. We're both always armed and situationally aware. I just keep stocking up. Using the closet in my utility room for storage. After the hurricanes I convinced him to fill the 50 gallon deisel tank; usually he has several 5 gallon containers on hand. So now we have plenty of fuel, short-term for our generators. The sneaky thing I did was start a garden. I have a black thumb; he has a green thumb. So the plan all along was to get him to take it over, because of course I can't grow anything. It worked!

  8. #8
    I appear to be the reverse of most people on this forum. I'm the wife, worried about safety, and my husband is not concerned at all. He sometimes even forgets to lock the doors, but now gets upset that I'll get up and check them all again after he says he has done it. Any tips on how to get him to share my concerns?
    Last edited by apples; 11-08-2010 at 12:52 PM.

  9. #9
    MrBen
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by apples View Post
    I appear to be the reverse of most people on this forum. I'm the wife, worried about safety, and my husband is not concerned at all. He sometimes even forgets to lock the doors, but now gets upset that I'll get up and check them all again after he says he has done it. Any tips on how to get him to share my concerns?
    Yeah. Sneak downstairs when he's sleeping and has forgotten to lock the front door. Mess your front room up, empty draws etc on the floor, make a mess. Then wake him up by screaming at him, telling him that he's left the door unlocked again an someone's been in the house. That should get his attention.

    Then it's up to you if you want to tell him that you did it to prove a point.

  10. #10
    husker16
    Guest
    My wife has only recently gotten on board with me. At first she thought I was just being paranoid. But when I started pointing things out in the news that related to what I was hearing and planning for I could hear the wheels starting to turn. It took quite a while, but she is coming. The best point I made to her was when my gold and silver investments have nearly doubled. There was no gray area there.
    She does not quite believe in the total collapse theory, but i have put her in the mode of prepping by preparing for (hopefully) short term issues. We are currently preparing for about 3 months of food and supplies.
    Once I get there there, then we can discuss the next step of 6 months. You will have to take the lead yourself and just start, but it will take you a lot longer by yourself. Good luck to you and do not stop beating that drum to your husband.

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